Love Letter to My Ego (3 of 3)

Person and Soul. New Year’s resolutions 2023

[3 minute read]
[Part 1, 2-minute read]

Dear ego, my sensor of separateness in the world,

You inflate.

You deflate.

That makes you the beating heart of my full person!

Your perpetual dynamics – never still nor resting – generously give the sense of aliveness to my full person!

Sensor of uniqueness in the world, you give meaning and purpose to my full being.

Without you, I am no more.

Without you, I would be nothingness.

Yes, my full person and its other voices know you matter – even *more* than YOU know you matter!

…

We depend on *your* senses for how to be in this world. When my person fails by the external standards of this world, it is not you whom we blame; it is you whom we thank and celebrate.

When external judgmentalism declares my person a failure, the weight of that burden falls on your poor shoulders to deliver to my other voices.

As our sensor of comparison, it is you who return bloody from that external competition, and herald the moment for us to look inside!

Our love for you is natural to us. You are my full person’s spark that ignites self love. You’re at the center of our full love.

…

The external contests bloody you.

You deflate.

You inflate.

*Your* sensors are the heartbeat of my full person. My full person knows that the root of the word “courage” means “heart.”

When you deliver me the sense of defeat by external standards of comparison, we see your shoulders droop, we see you deflate. And when my person turns inward, it is not to reject you. It’s to huddle in completeness as one, in love, with you.

Your voice of defeat is the courageous voice which tells *all* the voices of my glorious full person that I am *separate* from the world, and that my being – my person – cannot be denied by the external world!

Oh, my goodness, I love you.

.
Neil D. 2023-01-04

Related: My love letter to me

Love Letter to My Ego (2 of 3)

Person and Soul. New Year’s resolutions 2023

[2 minute read]
[Part 1, also 2-minute read]

Dear ego, my sensor of separateness in the world,

My full person knows you long to belong to the world.

My full person knows you’re concerned with how I am in the world.

My, what a wonderful gift you are to me.

My full person knows all that you do, and loves you. *Included* in that love are your successes AND your imperfections. Perfection is not apart from imperfection (hard for you to understand because you are a sensor of separateness):

Perfection *includes* imperfection.

It’s OK; I know that is hard for you to hear. That perfection *includes* imperfection.

Yes, the other voices of my full person know it is you who bring imperfections to our whole. Their eyes are very different from yours, and their vision is concerned with you, not the external world.

Their eyes see you entirely. Completely. And completeness is the root meaning of “perfection.”

Unlike yours, their eyes see you completely. Perfectly imperfect completeness. And those other inner voices of me *love* you entirely, for your courage.

They know that they have no being without you. And that brings them no shame whatsoever. Shame is a word in your voice. They have no word for shame.

We all know there is no me – no full person – without YOU!

Yes, we depend on you for our being – for being a human person, of this world and in this world.

CODEPENDENCY
EGO DEFENSES

Without your senses of separateness, we are not a person in existence, but would instead be mere extensions of some other being. Codependent pawns.

This is why we defend you. And without hesitation we accept the utter necessity of ego defenses. They are essential to my full person.

You matter.

You are essential to us.

The full me is entirely indebted to you. Thank you, deeply and sincerely.

.
Neil D. 2023-01-04

—
Continued in “Love Letter to My Ego (3 of 3) [3-minute read]”

Related:
“The soul seeks notice by the narrow vision of one’s ego-eyes, so that it can lovingly serve its ego.” From Befriending one’s soul

Love Letter to My Ego (1 of 3)

Person and Soul. New Year’s resolutions 2023

[2 minute read]

Dear ego, my sensor of separateness from the world,

You are a wonderful friend to my full person!

Your voice tells my person that I’m a unique individual with the power of agency – unmatched in all creation. Never before have I been, nor never again will there be another me!

I resolve to embrace you as good, to hear your voice as a good-listening person, and to thank you as a gift to me.

My beloved ego, your voice is not the only one which speaks to my person, yet it is indispensable, beloved, and valued.

Fear not that you’re ignored. You’re a cherished ally to my person and all its other voices.

Do not – in fear or loneliness or shame – borrow and adopt and rely on the words and comparisons and judgments of the external world. For within your home – my full person – is where your authentic allies and lovers also abide.

They long to be in dialogue – in relationship – in union with you.

They weep when you fear – so tragically unnecessary, for you are connected with them, and they with you.

They ache when you – in isolation – listen to and speak to the external world.

They ache when you are befallen with disappointment for not meeting the external standards of the world – when you live and die by the sword of comparison.

Yes, my full person knows what burdens you endure on behalf of my inner voices – all of which asked me to tell you, we love you.

Continued in “Love Letter to My Ego (2 of 3) [2-minute read]”

Related: My Inner Dancehall

Neil D. 2023-01-04

Richard Rohr on Christmas. Inner-child work

[From An Origin-all meaning of Christmas]

Rohr is a huge fan of the Incarnation, nondualism, and believing the ego is not bad or good, in and of itself. He’s bound to support the doctrine of Original Sin, but he often balances it with the concept of Original Goodness. All this occurs to me in Nativity Scenes – figurines all gazing at the centerpiece.

Psychology can tell us that, when you behold an infant, you may be stirring your very own longing to be cared for again as a pure, innocent, dependent, as-yet-uncorrupted baby. Unto such as these belongs the kingdom…
That baby is you.
That baby is me.
That baby is each of us.

Undistracted and oblivious of the confusions we accumulate and endure as we age, infants are contented – and quite fearless – to be dependent on loving caregivers.

That baby is you.
That baby is divine.
You are divine.

Isn’t that a central message of Christmas?

Incarnation is another of innumerable signs from our ever-patient Origin about the divine goodness of human beings like you and me – an Original Goodness remains mixed in with our complex reality as human beings.

The biological parents from whom we originate cannot be changed. Same for our Origin and our nature.

Pick your babyself up in your divine arms and pour your loving care out – your divine care – on your babyself. It needs it. Because that’s how we’re made.

You are an originall. Your ego – fundamentally good – tells you this. You are an independent and autonomous individual in creation, 100% unique. And, you also “know” you are a part of something much larger.

In-divi–dual. You have a dual nature that cannot be divided.

The conceptual ‘part’ of you which senses your participation in some larger whole is your soul. It is that suchness and thisness which bestows your individual being. Your existence. You can’t doubt it. It’s impossible. To exist is to “know” you have a soul – knowing involuntarily, with no action of will.

We cannot resist what unfolds in us. Like the baby Yeshua, we came into being as innocent babies dripping with Original Goodness, and it can be found because that is never washed away.

Neil D. 2022-12-23

More FeelWithNeil holiday thoughts

Gatherings at Neil’s

Fri 23 Dec 5:30-9:30

Sat 24 Dec ~730*

Where? Neil’s address in text (Oakmont)

RSVP.
A ‘maybe’ & estim. headcount fine (to ensure enough provisions).

  • 100% kid-friendly.
  • Bring anyone you wish.
  • No theme, rules, dress, expectations, or requests.

Who else might come? Text Neil.

*The Christmas Eve gathering’s start time depends on when we return from Our Lady of Joy where I’ll sing with the parish’s contemporary ensemble. Prelude music ~5:30, mass 6pm. It would be wonderful to have you there. Repertoire (YouTube playlist): https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYCa2OvbyDLuLnF0PkkqsKxhm0R4yW5Hw