Love Letter to My Ego (1 of 3)

Person and Soul. New Year’s resolutions 2023

[2 minute read]

Dear ego, my sensor of separateness from the world,

You are a wonderful friend to my full person!

Your voice tells my person that I’m a unique individual with the power of agency – unmatched in all creation. Never before have I been, nor never again will there be another me!

I resolve to embrace you as good, to hear your voice as a good-listening person, and to thank you as a gift to me.

My beloved ego, your voice is not the only one which speaks to my person, yet it is indispensable, beloved, and valued.

Fear not that you’re ignored. You’re a cherished ally to my person and all its other voices.

Do not – in fear or loneliness or shame – borrow and adopt and rely on the words and comparisons and judgments of the external world. For within your home – my full person – is where your authentic allies and lovers also abide.

They long to be in dialogue – in relationship – in union with you.

They weep when you fear – so tragically unnecessary, for you are connected with them, and they with you.

They ache when you – in isolation – listen to and speak to the external world.

They ache when you are befallen with disappointment for not meeting the external standards of the world – when you live and die by the sword of comparison.

Yes, my full person knows what burdens you endure on behalf of my inner voices – all of which asked me to tell you, we love you.

Continued in “Love Letter to My Ego (2 of 3) [2-minute read]”

Related: My Inner Dancehall

Neil D. 2023-01-04

Richard Rohr on Christmas. Inner-child work

[From An Origin-all meaning of Christmas]

Rohr is a huge fan of the Incarnation, nondualism, and believing the ego is not bad or good, in and of itself. He’s bound to support the doctrine of Original Sin, but he often balances it with the concept of Original Goodness. All this occurs to me in Nativity Scenes – figurines all gazing at the centerpiece.

Psychology can tell us that, when you behold an infant, you may be stirring your very own longing to be cared for again as a pure, innocent, dependent, as-yet-uncorrupted baby. Unto such as these belongs the kingdom…
That baby is you.
That baby is me.
That baby is each of us.

Undistracted and oblivious of the confusions we accumulate and endure as we age, infants are contented – and quite fearless – to be dependent on loving caregivers.

That baby is you.
That baby is divine.
You are divine.

Isn’t that a central message of Christmas?

Incarnation is another of innumerable signs from our ever-patient Origin about the divine goodness of human beings like you and me – an Original Goodness remains mixed in with our complex reality as human beings.

The biological parents from whom we originate cannot be changed. Same for our Origin and our nature.

Pick your babyself up in your divine arms and pour your loving care out – your divine care – on your babyself. It needs it. Because that’s how we’re made.

You are an originall. Your ego – fundamentally good – tells you this. You are an independent and autonomous individual in creation, 100% unique. And, you also “know” you are a part of something much larger.

In-dividual. You have a dual nature that cannot be divided.

The conceptual ‘part’ of you which senses your participation in some larger whole is your soul. It is that suchness and thisness which bestows your individual being. Your existence. You can’t doubt it. It’s impossible. To exist is to “know” you have a soul – knowing involuntarily, with no action of will.

We cannot resist what unfolds in us. Like the baby Yeshua, we came into being as innocent babies dripping with Original Goodness, and it can be found because that is never washed away.

Neil D. 2022-12-23

More FeelWithNeil holiday thoughts

Gatherings at Neil’s

Fri 23 Dec 5:30-9:30

Sat 24 Dec ~730*

Where? Neil’s address in text (Oakmont)

A ‘maybe’ & estim. headcount fine (to ensure enough provisions).

  • 100% kid-friendly.
  • Bring anyone you wish.
  • No theme, rules, dress, expectations, or requests.

Who else might come? Text Neil.

*The Christmas Eve gathering’s start time depends on when we return from Our Lady of Joy where I’ll sing with the parish’s contemporary ensemble. Prelude music ~5:30, mass 6pm. It would be wonderful to have you there. Repertoire (YouTube playlist):

Christmas Carol paradoxes 6 – James Taylor?

[1.5 minute read]

My goodness, Christmas carols are loaded with contrasts and paradoxes. And so am I. Good and bad. Deserved and undeserved. Earned and unearned. Beautiful and ugly.

Not what you think:)

Scholars debate facts about the historical Jesus, including his birth, the nativity. Let’s grant for a moment that it is entirely fabricated; why did the authors present it? That too is debated. But we have it. And it is wonderful mythology. Largely because we know how the rest of the story goes, the plain-born baby and the adult Yeshua and the timeless Logos are tied together through time and life – a lifetime. It makes it easier to imagine this baby loving us, even as a newborn.

We usually think of ourselves loving a sweet baby. But this song flips that on its head, and it is “baby” who loves us so sweetly.

I close my eyes at night
Wondering where would I be without you in my life
Everything I did was just a bore
Everywhere I went it seems I’d been there before
But you brighten up for me all of my days
With a love so sweet in so many ways

I wanna stop and thank you Baby, yes I do
How sweet it is to be loved by you
Just like honey to the bee, Baby
It’s like sugar sometimes
Feels so fine

I needed the shelter of someone’s arms
And there you were
I needed someone to understand my ups and downs
And there you were
With sweet love and devotion
Deeply touching my emotion

You were better to me than I was to myself
For me, there’s you and there ain’t nobody else

…except everybody and everything being sweetly loved by you.
I am being loved


Neil D. 2022-12-07

Share your favorite carol lyrics and the paradoxical mysteries they raise inside you, below, please!