If you have deeply cherished memories around holidays, you may cherish the season… *too* much – filling it with a wonderfully complex soul-mix of expectations and hard work to pull it all together, reinforcing the value placed on those memories year after year.
We “make holidays happen.” There’s nothing particularly enchanting about the depths of winter per se. We *make* it so.
The eyes of our heart also see most of society doing the same, and the bustle culminates in the warmth of gathered loved ones. It’s all very magical – a blend of reality and fantasy that can’t be detangled, and so we are almost entirely unconcerned with detangling it.
It’s part illusion, but illusion that promotes and highlights very, very real connection between souls – both amidst the bustle of strangers on city sidewalks adorned with silver bells, as well as feasting with loved ones within four walls.
“It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” As years roll by, we feel the absence of the departed who have been woven into our deep-heart memories of the season. Some have departed this realm, or some have departed to separate lives within this realm and now have their own circles that make it impossible to gather as one circle again. Or perhaps they choose actively against the old order, which hurts just as much, if not more.
Perhaps you’ve experienced some holiday days alone. The absence of connection amidst the universal spirit of goodwill can be excruciating. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and never before had you realized how highly your own spirit soared by connecting so fondly to other soaring revelers.
Perhaps in solitude somewhat unwillingly, you had a gathering inside yourself. Your full Self gathers your components. The part of you which craves the belonging and love from others had to gather with the part of you which pours out love and welcome on others. At this feast inside of you can gather the guest which senses its separateness in the world, across the table from the guest within you who senses that your being is part of a larger universe of being.
That thanksgiving meal can be quite a delicious blend of flavors. And that complex blend involves no delusional magic or fantasy. It is the *magic* which is you, in your fullness.
Neil D. 2021-11-26
“Re-cover.” I don’t like the word, and how it impels us to chase it – more running, which is the root of our pain to begin with.
When we seek to recover from something, what does it mean? A wound was exposed, and we want to cover it again (re-)? To re-store our identity, or sense of self? Be more self-ish? Yeah, I do think that’s what people seek in recovery. To feel again as they once felt before. The illusion of strength once held. To make the masks of personas as impenetrable as before. To acquire more masks that falsely convey strength to onlookers, even when looking upon our own selves. To return to fooling ourselves and others. To return to being better actors (hypocrites). To feel better via false feelings. To substitute positive feelings for the negative ones.
I don’t like the word and notion of recovery. Or healing. Especially when they mean those things.
In the upper room where Doubting Thomas encountered the resurrected Christ, Yeshua invited Thomas to probe his wounds with his fingers. His wounds were not absent in his risen body. He did not run or escape from them. No recovery or healing erased them when he was saved from hell and death, born again, a new creation. They are part of him for eternity. He carries them now and forever. So, now, what is it you want to cover?
To heal is not to fix our wounds. It is instead to grow large enough in awareness (consciousness) to carry those wounds in their rightful embodiment. Now, and for eternity. We already are enough to do that. And the evidence is plain: Our wounds have not killed us. We didn’t need to move on, move forward, leave that baggage behind. We may wish to, but we haven’t. And won’t. Any more than the risen Jesus did.
When Yeshua healed others, he did so by awakening them to their enoughness already. You are already enough to carry your wounds. The evidence is inarguable. Perhaps you just want it to be easier. Like a pill to fix us.
Heal the disconnection from our pain, so our pain no longer feels separated, abandoned, lonely, orphaned. When we carry it with us like a tender baby, it knows we love it.
Neil D. 2021-11-24
Do you have affection for the words “healing” and “recovery”? Do they mean something very different to you? Share a Comment with us, below, please…
[2.5 minute read]
Continuation of Chapter 3, “Dear Teacher: F for you”
Don’t put your faith in any writings, ideas, books, rules, or laws of religion or state.
YOU have been incarnated to fulfill the law.
The law of love is made flesh, incarnated, by you and in you – as part of “all things.” Believe in your SELF.
Don’t try – artificially with your brain – to extract some ideals of goodness from your actions and your character. There are no “parts” of you, good or bad. There is only you. You are a whole. You are complete. The human condition’s tragedy is that we are the last to realize.
Because you have been indoctrinated and brainwashed, at some level, by the notion of original sin, you want to peel away your bad “parts” and wash them away, or to claim pardon by professing some grotesque human sacrifice as propitiative ransom. That’s all mental gymnastics, not real.
What’s real is your own completeness as you are.
You have been brainwashed by cultural conditioning to revile your negative emotions, and so run from them or seek comfort by some external Sky Wizard. But a spark of that very wizard is what animates you and is the very “ground of your being” in existence.
You are infinitely more than enough to carry your negative emotions, and to carry the cross of suffering which others hoist upon your shoulders as you journey along your own Via Dolorosa toward the death of your false beliefs about your self. Then your core beliefs about who you – and neighbors and enemies – are can rise to new life, as authentic love bleeds out of your very own divine heart.
Take on your own crown of thorns, and watch in a mirror as life-giving blood runs from your pierced and wounded “head” toward your heart. Believe in your self, teacher. Shine your light in the world as a lesson – not only to your students, but a lesson to your own self. You can fulfill the rules by loving your wounded self, and that love is too much of a wellspring not to overflow abundantly onto your life’s insurrectionists and law-enforcers.
Love, and only love, conquers your enemies… And, at the pace of trickling blood… Authentic love trickles no more quickly.
Neil D. 2021-11-12
When we get exasperated by subversive clowns in our lives, oh my… what gifts!
But the idealists – including the one in your head – have different eyes:
Because you failed to enforce the rules, we will do poorly on our standardized tests about tropical ecosystems. You should have smote… You could have had them marched to the office… Instead, we had to witness how you treat your enemies. What kind of teaching is that?”
What kind of teaching IS that, indeed. You get an F. Fantastic? Fabolous? Far-reaching.
THE “Teacher” has told us we too are brothers and sisters in – and of – him, the Annointed One. To control others, we can point to the rules and enforce the law. Yet, as sisters and brothers of The Master rabbi/Teacher, we have been incarnated into flesh not to replace The Law, but to fulfill it (Mt 5:17, excerpts below).
What kind of teaching is THAT?
“Where is this messiah as he fulfills the law? I’m looking for him, but I don’t see him.” Why, this Christ is in all things. One piece of all things is YOU. You were brought into being – incarnated – with “a divine spark,” as your soul is often called. The basis of connection, as brothers and sisters and children of One. As are uncontrollable rebels and insurrectionists. Enemies.
Think of how you gracefully manage disruptions in life’s classrooms as you read these excerpts from Matthew 5 [ESV], The ‘Lesson’ On The Mount, and its afterwords:
2And he opened his mouth and TAUGHT them,…
5“Blessed are the meek [who don’t pound fists explosively to insist on following rules, dominating by power and control, fear and shame], for they shall inherit the earth…
7“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
8“Blessed are the pure in heart [who are not *faking* love by acting how love looks], for they shall see God [in jellyfish and all things].
9“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called [children] of God.
10“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. [Is righteousness adherence to rules? Only one: The Greatest Commandment.] …
13“You are the salt of the earth…
14“You are the light of the world… 16…let your light shine before others, so that they may see…
17“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18For truly, I say to you,… not an iota,… will pass from the Law until ALL is accomplished. [And we, as incarnated into existence, are part of the “all.” We are to be “accomplished.” To inspire.] …
20For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees [who enforce the rules hypocritically, not living them in their hearts], you will never [see] the kingdom…
22…everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment [this means to the judgment of other judgmental people, not God; THAT is what hell is]; whoever insults his brother…and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire [from those brothers and sisters, and from your own internal voices that know of your secret hypocrisy]… 25Come to terms quickly with your accuser…, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge…and you be put in prison [of your very own conscience, the “law” of God written on your heart by your incarnation with a divine spark]. 26Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny [until you have come to love your own self in mercy as you love your neighbor, enemy, and as God loves you.]
Neil D. 2021-11-08