Do you feel like a failure in God’s eyes when you sleep each night? Then why is the deeprest of depression “bad”? Why do you want self-pity to stop? You’ve been brainwashed.
Today, the work of God and the unfolding of newness in creation will get done. It seems God has NOT chosen to do that by miracles, lightning bolts, and gigantic gentle hands reaching down from the clouds. It unfolds AS creation. Through us creations.
You might think that happens only when you serve others self-sacrificially. If you can do that today, you feel more alive, as you give life. But God’s work gets done even when you feel too weak or sad to do that, hour after hour, day after day, year after year. Even when you are depressed, you are doing God’s work. On you.
Our religious and social conditioning makes us feel bad when sad. I do not think for one second that that is God’s conditioning—that we are to feel bad when sad.
Suspend your cultural and religious brainwashing that you only do God’s work when you serve others.
I do not think for a moment that self-pity is condemnable. Do you feel like a failure in God’s eyes when you sleep each night? When you rest? That’s ridiculous! If you delay sleep, give it too little attention, and let stress and busyness wear you dow, you eventually collapse exhausted. Nature, as authored by the Author of creation, prevails.
Who can be emotionally present and strong, when physically overspent?
Whether you feel physically or emotionally exhausted, Nature will prevail with sleepful rest or being deeprest. Depression is a natural signal from the author of nature. Yet, indoctrination by society wants to call prolonged sadness an illness. A disease. A dys-ease. Well, if you go 2 or 3 days without sleep, do you then sleep a mere 8 hours? Recovery takes days or weeks.
Give this a try: Sadness and depression are glorious and powerful signs and signals.
When one leaves this realm, we say, “Rest in peace.” In THIS realm, when your heart is tired, and Nature draws it into deeprest, society wants you to deny your exhaustion, get therapy, takes pills, etc., because society wants to maintain the illusion that death can be postponed, and in the meantime, society wants to own you. But Nature wants you to slow down and serve YOUR heart, with your own attention. If you don’t, you drag out that natural need, like a sleep-deprived zombie going through the motions unNaturally. Pretending. Sleepwalking.
Even during the overwhelming heaviness of depression, you are just as alive as when you’re exuberant. You are still unfolding God’s creative work. You are still being. The slowdown of depression is a clear and natural message from The Author: It’s time for YOU to love your whole being as The Author does.
If your heart is sleepwalking, your efforts to serve God’s children lovingly are not authentic. They are heartless, coming from a dreamy illusion. A false reality. Not who you truly are. You’re merely imitating people with waked hearts.
Denying your own heart’s Natural need for rest and retreat leaves you living a lie. THAT is what intensifies the pain of self-pity: Your energy spent denying your mortality. The weight of shame for living that lie of pretending that you can sacrifice yourself endlessly. Your competitive drive to out-give others is ego-centered and unNatural.
Stop listening to external voices, and hear your own heart. It needs rest.
It is not bad to rest when your soul whispers a lullaby to your ego.
It’s time to do God’s work, to serve God’s children. And you too are God’s child.
Neil D. 2021-03-02