“You’re going through a hard time, but you have this and that to be thankful for.” I will probably hear that a few times today, or “feel” it being said with eyes or unspoken avoidance. Both of those things are true–the hardest time of my life, and much to be thankful for. It sounds better to me with the “and” than with the “but.” It strikes me that the “and” makes it reversible. “I have much to be thankful for and I am going through a hard time.”
These semantics are important to me. I call these coexistent truths. The “but” means I am doing something wrong. That I am wrong to be depressed when I have so much to be thankful for. Coexistent truths are important to me because I am learning about my goodness while not forgetting my badness. I am experiencing happy times amongst my sadness. Smiles and tears are mixing together. I can feel unworthy and worthy, because I have all of you–my angels, whom I value deeply, and who value me. I am going through a hard time, and I have each of you to be thankful for.
If I cry today, and my tears drip from my chin onto my heart, they will land where they belong, where they are welcome, where they can be held in vastness, because my angels have softened and swelled my heart, where I carry them, even apart.